


Cas finds the universe

by ViviTargaryen



Series: Cas and the universe [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cas and Sam are buddies, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 08:30:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6975526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViviTargaryen/pseuds/ViviTargaryen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the prequel of my little Christmas-Stories I wrote last year, which belong to this series.</p><p>I wanted to write it since then and now I kinda made it and will try to publish chapters semi-regularly.</p><p>This is the story of how Castiel met Dean Winchester. How he lost Dean Winchester. And how he will, hopefully, win Dean Winchester back again. This is a lovestory. Full of pain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cas finds the universe

Castiel hates Christmas.

Christmas brings snow, cold weather and people celebrating. Personally, Castiel wouldn't mind the people celebrating, but the sheer amount of Santa Clauses, christmas lights, cookies, carols make Michael extremely angry and an angry Michael is nothing he prefers. It brings Michael closer to the edge and makes him unreasonable and short-tempered and his number one problem seems to be Castiel.

After all everyone knows that he had been the closest to their fallen brothers, whose names were forbidden in their village after they left their community and betrayed their believe and therefore he has to be watched closely. That he had married Amelia, his best friend and companion in surviving this religious madness 2 years ago, loosened Michael up, but every Christmas time the "sins" of the world outside bring the danger back to Michael's mind and make Castiel’s life a whole lot harder.

Last year, Castiel had taken all of his vacation days during Christmas time, something Michael had liked very much. Less time outside their village throughout this particular time meant less contact with sins and sinners and when Castiel helped him with all the repairs that were needed, Michaels temper became better and better.

Sadly, this year Castiel wasn't able to do this again, mainly because his immediate co-worker Ellen had asked him to (She wanted to visit her daughter in Europe and Castiel just didn't have the heart to say no) and as they are the accountants for a middle-sized law firm, at least one of them had to work through that time. And that left him.

All this made Michael furious, of course. Now Cas has not only a month full of 10-hour-days, thanks to the new big client the law firm made just a few days ago, instead, when he comes back and wants to be alone in his home, enjoying a silent evening with Amelia, reading a good book, he has to listen to his brother, preaching him the wrongness of the people outside of their village with their false gods and how they’d left the way to god's forgiveness to life in a world full of excitement and sins.

Castiel hates Christmas.

________________________________________________________________

It's the 5th of december and honestly, Castiel would just say that his month gets worse every day. Today he had to work more than the rest of the week and with it being friday, nearly everyone had already left the building hours before. Even better, shortly after six o'clock it began snowing in big flakes and Michael was sending him text messages almost every quarter of the hours to remind him to stay resistant to the demons around. Castiel glares at his phone disbelievingly and groans loudly.

Afterwards, he looks at the big piles of files that still need to be worked through before Christmas and not for the first time he wishes he would have made up some reason when Ellen had asked him. Nearly everyone in the firm knows that Castiel is part of a religious group belonging to Jehovah's Witnesses but being independent. Everyone knows Castiel doesn't celebrate Christmas, birthdays or any other special day. He is pretty sure Ellen would have understand. But of course he wanted to give Ellen a chance to have a well-deserved break and see her daughter. He knows she misses her as Jo lives abroad in europe and she collected her free days for 2 years now to be able to stay there for some time. He wanted her to have that, but the stress makes him grumpy. 

When his phone starts buzzing again, he thinks about throwing it against the wall. Every time the buzzing sounds angrier and angrier and he just can't handle that pressure anymore that it puts onto him. Times like this raise the doubts inside of him, make them stronger and bring with them the fear of being alone, of being cast off from his family.

A sudden sound at his office door makes him startle against the files and the complete stack of them glides from the desk and lands on the floor with a loud noise. A deep worried voice curses and after a moment of bewilderment Castiel recognises the new first-year associate he already had heard whispers of.

"Ah, sorry man, I was thinking that you left your light on, I couldn't imagine that someone is still here and I wanted to turn it off, I am so sorry if I scared you, I happen to do that... I am Sam by the way." During this stream of one-sided conversation Castiel watches him pick up the files and staple them onto the desk again and afterwards he holds his hand into Castiel’s direction.

The first moment he isn't sure what is expected from him, but when Sam's smile starts to falter a little bit and his face produces the biggest puppy-eyes he’s ever seen, Castiel catches himself and shakes the hand quickly. "I am Castiel, very nice to meet you."  
Sam grins at him cheerfully and starts to talk again: "Interesting name, dude. I mean no, not dude. My brother always says that, I wanted to unlearn it, but well. One of many bad habits that Jerk taught me. Anyway, how come you’re still here on a friday evening at half past 8?" Castiel gestures to the files, as they are answers enough. "Same question to you, Sam, right?"  
"Well yeah, I came with the bike today. I am never watching the weather, it’s my girlfriend who is informed about practical stuff like that and... I am new, I thought I could stay longer than everyone else and find myself into the work, it's better when it is silent around here. But then it started snowing and I was hoping my brother could pick me up, but he is still working, too and my girlfriend is not in town. Ah, I am talking too much, ain't I?"

But Cas just shakes his head. He kinda likes Sam and his cheerful talking, which is surprising as he normally doesn’t get along with people fastly. Suddenly, he hears himself say: "I was thinking about leaving, I could take you home if you want to?" "Woah, hey you don't have to, that wasn't me trying to get a ride really, I swear!" Cas smiles softly. "I know. I just couldn't bear the thought of you walking through the snow that wouldn't be very christian of me, right?"

And suddenly it just had happened that Cas, who never had had a friend before except for Amelia and his fallen brothers, lets Sam Winchester in his life, a big puppy in human form.

________________________________________________________________

Having a friend at work changes a lot for Castiel. Sam is always cheerful and happy. He makes sure Castiel goes outside of the office sometimes, forces him to spend lunch with him and other Co-Workers and stays longer in the evenings to help him with the amount of work he still has to handle. Suddenly, working is as much fun as it wasn’t for years. 

Amelia notices the change,too. After all she is his friend for over 20 years now, and she is very happy to listen to him, talking about how much more he likes his work now and how nice it is to have friends. Sometimes Castiel feels bad for it. He managed to get out of this fanatic hole, while Amelia has to stay in it all the time. When they had married, mostly out of convenience for both of them as it shut up their families, they had promised each other to be their helper in all of this, to protect each other from these madness and now that Castiel spends even more time in the outside world and finds himself friendship in it, he feels like betraying her. Naturally, Amelia senses his distress and shuts him up quickly. She enjoys listening to office gossip. 

Spending time with Sam is easy. Sam is a decent guy and does not care about anyone's religion, occupation or sexuality. Normally, when people know that Castiel lives in a religious village they tend to ask him question after question, sometimes just in a curious way, but often while judging and treating him like he is some kind of bigot. Sam isn't. He talks to him about his family, TV-Shows and music, always looking which topics Castiel seems to react positively to and when he does, he is asked a hundred of things. But if he doesn't then Sam drops the subject carefully, never forcing him to anything he isn't comfortable with. They never run out of subjects to talk about. Sam also likes to complain about his older brother Dean. He tells Cas how they bicker, about their brotherly prank wars, about how he’s nagging Dean to finally settle down, something he never really does think his brother will do, at least since he broke up with some guy named Ash 2 years ago. Lately, they spend a decent amount of time discussing Stephen Hawking's "A brief history of everything", because Sam had started reading it when he discovered that Castiel is extremely interested in astrophysics.

It is just two weeks since they had talked for the first time, but he knows Sam considers them already as good friends. The only thing Castiel doesn't like is spending time with some of the others Sam is friends with in the firm.

Brady is alright and Jimmy and Sarah, too. But Ruby has something false in her eyes and Meg has a cruelness in her way of talking that makes Castiel uncomfortable. Sometimes he has the feeling that she tries to hit on him, too. He was close to telling her that he is married, but Ruby and her made cruel remarks about him being a religious little fanatic and the village he grew up in. He doesn't want his bond with Amelia being reflected on so badly. Sam always shuts them up, growing angrier every time, but still, not even he knows that Castiel is married. He talks to him about Amelia sometimes, but he knows that Sam thinks she is his closest friend and nothing more. He is aware of that, but he just cannot stand being judged by Sam, too. He calms himself with the thought that it isn't really a lie. After all, Amelia is his closest friend. Whom he had married.

The subject still occupies him, when Sam comes into his office that evening. "Hey Castiel, what's up?" Castiel shrugs his shoulders. "Nothing new since lunch, Sam. Just a big amount of work like usual." "It's just 5 days till the 25th, are you going to finish that?" "I am very sure. I might have to work long on the 24th too, but it looks manageable. But I am done for today. Shall I drop you off at home?" Sam smiles at him. "You don't have to, I can take the subway." "But it is not a problem at all for me and you might be at home earlier. Isn't Eileen back from New York?" Sam's face practically lights up every time the subject comes to his girlfriend and in a very excited manner he immediately jumps on the train. "Yeah, she came back this afternoon. Haven't seen her for 4 weeks. She is curious as hell about you. Told her everything I learned and she might want to invite you in, you know."

 

While Sam practically beams at him, Castiel can feel his own smile dropping. Sam notices it too and looks at him with a worried face. He clears his throat. "That's a nice thought, really, but I fear I might not be able to stay. I already am working later than usual and my brother..." Castiel's voice falters a little bit and Sam nods. "Yeah right, sorry. You're right. It already is late and you had a long day. But she might come out to talk to you a few minutes, she just is like that." "I would really like to meet her, Sam. I would love to talk to her. I just can't stay longer than a few minutes, I'm sorry." "Don't be, I understand that!"

 

Sam is unusually silent on the way to the car and even the first few minutes of the ride. But when the car isn't starting immediately after they stood on a traffic light, he breaks the silence. "You need to have that checked out."

Castiel looks at him surprised. He has no idea what Sam means. "Your car, Castiel. It's kind of rattling and I am pretty sure it wasn't two weeks ago. Also this not starting thingy points to a problem with the ignition coil and that's something you should have checked upon immediately. One of the others might break soon, too and then your car won't start anymore and then you might stand somewhere in the desert, no mechanic available."  
Considering how much Castiel understood, Sam could have talked chinese and his face seems to reflect this confusion easily. Sam starts laughing and shrugs his shoulders. "Sorry, my brother is a mechanic. Took over the garage of our foster father and is now running it. I learned to talk in technical terms when I was a child." "I didn't know that. Well anyway, thanks for your advice. I promise I will have it checked out as soon as I'll have some time."

After that the atmosphere is a lot more relaxed and they find into some small talk easily. When Castiel drops of Sam Eileen comes out immediately and Cas looks dazzled when he notices her making a lot of hand movements which Sam seems to react to. He suddenly recognizes that she seems to use sign language. When she turns around to Cas he feels helpless and stares at Sam, not knowing what to do. But Eileen’s voice cuts through the air. “You know, I can talk and read lips. No need to ignore me.” Cas looks at her. “I’m… very sorry.” “No problem. People always feel helpless when they come into a situation they’re not used to.” She smiles at Sam and he smiles back and after that the conversation flows a lot easier. He notices that she doesn't invite him for dinner today, but instead just says that he has to come to dinner some evening and Castiel immediately knows that Sam wrote her about him being uncomfortable with the subject and there is a fondness in his heart for both of them. He intends to eat with them as soon as possible in the new year, after telling them about Amelia so that he might bring her with him.He says goodbye, not without Eileen teaching him the correct sign for that and he knows they might become good friends. With this cheerful thought the way home is a lot easier than usually, when he already knows that Michael is waiting for him.

____________________________________________________________________________________

The next days blend in and out quickly. Sometimes Castiel has no idea where the time went. At work he is that busy he can't even eat lunch with Sam anymore (Sam still drops by sometimes and sits with him for some time) and Michael starts lecturing him twice a day. Apparently he can sense something isn't as usual.

It's the 24th of December and everyone went home hours ago. Just Castiel and a lonely security guard are still in the building. It's some time after 8 when Castiel finally finishes the last file and he thinks a little sarcastic "Merry Christmas" to himself which fills him with a warm feeling of rebellion. Castiel waves a small goodbye at the guard and gets into his car. The thought of Christmas and the year being over soon is what keeps him sane in all this stress. But still, sometimes when it is Christmas time and he comes home to his wife, knowing what keeps them together is friendship and camaraderie, he feels something is missing in his life. It might be different if he were brave like his lost brother, but everyone knows he isn't. Castiel is deep in thought, driving through the snow-covered streets Chicago's when suddenly his car stutters. It stutters so hard, Castiel stops and tries to start it new but... nothing.

"Fun-fucking-tastic. The 24th of December, - 13 degrees outside, half past 9 in the evening and my car just died." Tired he puts his head onto the steering wheel and breathes deeply. Nothing is working anymore, his car doesn't even make any noise and he is just done with the whole year. Groaning he grabs his phone and calls Amelia.

She answers the phone immediately. "Finally! Are you on your way? I was worried." "Mellie...", Castiel says quietly and the nickname tells Amelia immediately that something is amiss. "What is it? Are you okay?" "The car died." "The car. Died." "Yes." "Okay." "It's like Sam said. He told me something was wrong with it but I was so busy. I should have had it checked out immediately, but no, I thought it would be early enough in the new year. Now it is the evening before the holy night, snowing like hell and I am standing here in some outer part of Chicago with a car where not even the heater does work anymore. It is cold, it is late and no frigging mechanic is working anymore. If I call the AAA I'll be still here at midnight, probably frozen to death before." "Isn't there some kind of emergency mechanic around? There has to be something!" Amelia sounds nearly as tired as Castiel feels and he knows this time always takes a toll on her too. "These organizations always take their time and cost a hell lot of money. I'm just so stupid, I wish I had listened to S-WAIT." "What? WHAT?" Amelia sounds a little bit scared, maybe she is worried about his mental state. "Sam! His brother is a mechanic! That's what he told me when we talked about my car. I mean... they might be able to help?" Amelia assures him it's the best option they have and Castiel nods silently even though he knows she can't see it.

After ending the call with her, he opens Sam's contact card in his phone. His brother probably has better things to do than pick up random friends of his brother on the night of the 24th, but it is already that cold in the car that Castiel can see his breath and he knows it's the only acceptable option left.

He gives himself a push and dials the number. That's what friends are about, right? The phone rings endless times before Sam finally picks up. It's loud in the background and Castiel knows that his friend went out. "Hello? Hello? DEAN SHUT UP, THAT'S CASTIEL CALLING. Castiel orr, wait." He sits there silently and waits till he can't hear the noises anymore. "Okay, now. You okay? I think you never called me before?" "Don't worry, I am quite fine.” he assures him. "I am just... I stayed till I finished work and wanted to head home, finally, about 30 minutes ago and now... Well. I am here somewhere in Chicago and my car died. Like you said." "Ah shit. SHIT SHIT SHIT." "Yeah, you were right. I should have had it checked out immediately, but..." "Where are you? I am going to talk to Dean, we will pick you up immediately." "NO. No. You are out. You are having fun. Ask Dean if he knows someone who will come and tow me before midnight, that's really everything I need." "Castiel, really-" "Sam. You’re out with your family. Just... Don't. Do NOT come and pick me up. Promise." "Fine. I am not going to pick you up. I'll text you the number after asking Dean which one of his friends might be able to. Just send them your address. Take care of yourself." "I will.", Castiel says instead of a goodbye and stops the conversation, before Sam pressures him into giving in.

Just a few minutes later the message arrives and he sends his position to the number within. It doesn't even need a minute before he gets an "On my way" back and he sighs. The car is as cold, as if he were outside, so he decides to just leave it. He wanders to the front of his car, cuddles himself into his warm clothes and positions himself on the hood, staring into the sky and watching the stars. Thankfully it stopped snowing and the sky cleared. Castiel loves stars and a feeling arises in him that he can look into the universe, the future and the past, all just through stargazing. He loses the feeling for the time and is that focused on the stars that he doesn't notice the car stopping behind his own.

Steps come closer, but he does not think they are directed towards him. He is frowning a little bit, wondering about everything when someone close asks: "So you're Cas, right?" The voice startles him. It's deep, it's full and extremely beautiful, full of promises and opportunities and Cas turns around shocked when- Stars. He looks into the brightest green eyes he's ever seen and he can see the stars in them, tinged into grass-green and never did he know before that this was what was missing to the beauty of the void.

Cas just stands there gaping at the man and he can see him chuckle. "Are you?" "W-What?" Cas stammers and he finally knows why some people want to ‘facepalm’ themselves. "Cas. Are you Cas?" "I... well I am Castiel. No one ever called me... who calls me that anyway? Where do you have that from? Sam?" A shrug is the answer and the eyes of the man shine in amusement. "Nah, Sam calls you Castiel, don't worry. But it's a mouthful, right? That's why I started using 'Cas'. Made the kid crazy. Always said you wouldn't like it and that I should respect other people's opinions." "What did you answer to that?", Cas hears himself ask and he doesn't even know why. "I told him that as long as this mysterious new friend hasn't met me he has no right to tell me not to call him Cas, right?"

Cas knows he is gaping again, but he can't stop. The man doesn't break the eye contact and he feels weird, like he doesn't really fit into his skin anymore. Something just happened and he has no idea what.

Finally the man clears his throat and says: "I'm Dean, by the way." But he still hasn't broken eye contact and Cas realizes one thing: He is screwed.


End file.
